I was at a 10-day silent meditation retreat. We were told not to masturbate -I cheated. Throughout the years I’ve realized when I am really relaxed, I am way more aroused than normal.

In many teachings and societies it’s common belief that in order to experience the divine we must deny our sexual expression.

Instead we are told to practice prayer and meditation as our primary source of possible enlightenment.

The unquestioned assumption is, sexual suppression or denial eventually leads to enlightenment. But how can we deny the most powerful force in the universe?

This energy is at the core of universal consciousness and it’s the spark of creation that got us here in the first place. In Taoist philosophy sexual energy and life force energy is one in the same.

It’s no secret that many people experience transcendences more intensely in their bedrooms than they do in temples, churches, or during meditation.

Throughout my experiences I’ve realized the two distinct types of sexual encounters.

1. Heights (quantity)
2. Depths (quality)

The heights of sex, generally focuses on stimulation and nervous system response.  This type of sex is commonly expressed by only a physical experience and is measured by the intensity and quantity of stimulation.

The depths of sex focuses on accessing the souls of both partners also known as “making love.”

This type of sex encourages both partners to make use of their minds, bodies, and souls to access each other’s heart.

This type of love – making allows each partner to explore any hidden issues and inhibitions that may arise during a truly intimate experience.  Lovemaking allows us to exceed the limits of our physical body, and merge with one another.

The Taoists explain it like this: “During sex, one can re-experience the lost harmony (or spiritual oneness) with nature and the universe that is often talked about in philosophy and religion.”

Unlike most religions, Taoism views sexuality and spirituality as inseparable.

After many years of sexual repression and confusion, we are finally beginning to understand that reaching transcendence is a balanced journey of integrating our sexuality (the body) and spirituality (the heart).

Often times it’s very tempting to imagine sex as purely physical, because we are not bonded by feelings, attachments, and consequences.

We avoid tricky situations that come up in relationships and instead look for quick hookups found in “free love.”

Sure, it may sound pleasant to want to have sex all the time without any strings attached, without getting our feelings involved, without the painful emotions and attachments that can surface.

But our soul craves a deeper connection. It doesn’t succumb to our physical needs.

We often talk about sex as only physical and yet nothing has a deeper impact on our soul. Many of us ask for a definition of the soul, as if it could be understood intellectually.

Ever wonder why we call it sexual intercourse (Inter – Course)? It’s an internal course of union between two bodies connecting with the soul.

In the 21st century of science, technology, and psychology it’s easy to think of human sexuality only in terms of a physical experience.

After all, our bodies can be measured, studied, and doctored on a chemical and physiological level.

We often don’t acknowledge the subtle whispers from our bodies until we have a physical injury or an illness.

We think of our bodies like a skeletal structure wrapped in tissue, muscle and packaged with organs.

Some of us even go as far as treating it like a waste – basket by consuming junk unconsciously and hoping our bodies will digest it without any repercussions.

We try to separate the mind from body, and body from heart as if they are not connected.

How can we engage in a deep sexual experience when we are so disconnected from our selves?

Many of us have ordinary sex because we place all of our focus on the genitals and at the same time ignore the bodies’ limitless erotic potential.

The larger part of human sexuality is inaccessible to us because we view our bodies as material objects. To understand our deep sexuality, we have to go past scientific measurements.

The English poet William Blake describes the human body as a portion of the soul perceived by the senses. Our body subtly expresses the mystery within.

The secret to expanding sexually is to recognize that there is no human body without a soul, an emotion, and the deep desire for connection.

When sex has a purpose, deeper pleasure and meaning finds a home.

We open ourselves up to intense passion, exciting fantasies, sensual touch, subtle emotions, and many other levels and meaning. Our imagination comes alive with fantasy, trance, and memories.

If the sexual experience is empty, or manipulative, it can still have a strong impact on our soul.

The energy exchange we experience sends an emotional signal inside our body’s vibrational system.

In our culture we treat our body as unrelated to our emotions, what we don’t realize is our experiences have deep implications on our sexuality.

The human body is a mini world, embodying nature, ethos, and human life. It’s filled with deep mysteries.

Sex has many flavors and experiences – sometimes it can be less connected.

One has to allow themselves enough trust, freedom, and openness to experiment.

In contrast to animals, who follow their procreative wiring, human beings have the potential to bring awareness and consciousness to their sexual feelings, thoughts, behaviors and sensations.

We are given the wisdom and opportunity to explore each other with love and without fear.