Every person, man or woman has both feminine (Yin -) and masculine (Yang +) qualities. The Yin cannot exist without the Yang and vice versa.

The masculine and feminine energies are equal yet opposite forces, which is one of the greatest understandings of Tantra and Tao.

Tantra is a spiritual science from India and Taoism is ancient philosophy from China.

In Taoist philosophy, the man is represented by Yang (+) more active, and the woman is represented by Yin (-) more receptive. In both traditions, sexuality is practiced in a spiritual context, which aims to create union of mind, body and spirit.

It is believed that Tantra is the oldest and single source of knowledge involving the energies of mind, body and spirit.

The word Tantra means “to expand, to be free and liberated.” Tantra teaches us that sex is a way of bonding with your lover – spiritually, emotionally and physically.

The result is a sacred bond that creates feelings of ecstatic pleasure, expanded consciousness and deep intimacy.

The Flow of Sexual Energy

For a man, his penis is his positive charge, and his heart is his negative charge.

For a woman, her positive charge is her heart, and her vagina is her negative charge. 

A man’s energy flows from his penis into a woman’s vagina and up towards her heart. The female energy responds through her breasts by penetrating the heart of the man and flowing downward to his sex center.

In this illustration you can see how this electrical energy circulates throughout the bodies.

For a woman, her breasts are way more important than her vagina in the beginning because this is her passive and receptive pole, which needs time to be awakened.

During foreplay most men make the mistake of not spending enough time awakening a woman’s body, which creates the wetness in her vagina.

It’s not your fault gentlemen, because this is how you have been conditioned especially if porn is your point of reference.

Instead of going straight for her clitoris in the beginning, spend time on her breasts and nipples to create the wetness in her vagina.

Her clitoris is secondary in the beginning, because for women, her breasts and nipples have to be engaged and her heart has to be warmed which then causes the wetness and receptivity in her vagina.

Most women tell me how uncomfortable they feel when a man goes straight for her clitoris when she’s not yet aroused.

The clit and vaginal canal are very sensitive and tender areas in the beginning. If she’s not yet aroused your mouth and penis may feel painful and uncomfortable to her because her love organ (her vagina) is not yet ready to accept your touch or tongue.

Usually when a woman’s heart is activated her vaginal wetness feels more silky and inviting. During penetration you will feel that she is ready physically, emotionally and psychologically to accept you.

Importance of Sexual Polarity

In his book “The Way of a Superior Man” David Deida does an amazing job describing sexual polarity and why it’s so important for sexual passion.

“Sexual attraction is based upon sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between the masculine and feminine poles thus creating the flow of sexual feeling.

It is this force of attraction that is the dynamism that often disappears in the modern relationship. If you want real passion you need a ravisher and a ravishee, otherwise you just have two buddies who rub genitals in bed…..

The love may still be strong, the friendship may still be strong, but the sexual polarity fades unless in moments of intimacy one partner is willing to play the masculine pole and one partner is willing to play the feminine.

You have to animate the masculine and the feminine differences if you want to play in the field of sexual passion.”  

Polarity is the source of our sexual ecstasy. Understanding polarity will allow men to  gain clarity as he begins to feel more grounded, mature, loving and energetic because his masculine energy is activated.

A woman will feel more feminine, sweet, loving, and delicate. When we take the time to awaken each other, energy flows naturally and effortlessly.

When these two dynamic energies come together, lovemaking becomes natural, effortless, and harmonious.